Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Movie magic

My cousin called today and we made plans to go see the midnight showing of the final Harry Potter movie (IN 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!). That got me thinking about my greatest movie experiences.

I love movies. I have Netflix and watch at least 4-5 movies a week, whether it's new or one from my DVD collection. I recently rewatched the LOTR movies (the extended versions, of course). And here is where I expose my geeky-ness. I have the movies in 3 separate formats. Original, extended, and special edition extended. Just wait until I upgrade to Blu-ray. Oh yeah.

I used to go to lots of midnight premiers. I stopped when my body couldn't manage to go to work on Friday after getting home from the movies the night before at 3 am. I guess I can't hang like I used to.

The best movie experience I've ever had was the midnight showing of the last LOTR film. I saw it at the new (at the time) theater at Jersey Gardens. This was the first and last time I ever went there. I was with my friend Larry and some of his friends. We got in line around 10pm and were no where near the front. It was madness. People were dressed up in costumes, yelling to their friends. It was like a big party. I've never felt such excitement.

When the film began, there was silence from the audience. We were all excited. We were unified in our geekdom and adoration of these films. And we were going to enjoy the crap out of every second of this final film in the trilogy.

The theater itself was awesome. The sound in there was amazing. When the Nazgul-birds screamed, it actually hurt. (I would like to point out here my insane need for accuracy. I actually looked up the proper name of the screaming bat-dragon creatures that the Nazgul flew. I am a nerrrrrrd.) The audience cheered, gasped, laughed, cried. It was a beautiful thing. Now all I have are these DVDs. Sigh.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Boredom breeds creation

Being home all the time is really boring. The novelty of not having to be anywhere has worn off and I really don't have much going on. Cabin fever has set in.

But I have been trying to keep myself busy. I read lots now (ouchies permitting) and have sewing more. I made a stuffed robot for the cutest baby boy I know, and Maya purses for the nieces. I also have a few ideas for stuff I want to make. I'm considering opening an etsy store, but I need to get a working sewing machine first. My crappy one broke making the robot. It died trying to sew felt. How sad is that?

I'm planning a massive redo of my apartment. I bought a bookcase from Target last week (which lived in my trunk until this morning when Steve was awesome enough to stop by before work to carry it in for me) and will FINALLY get my library under control.

I've also been hanging out with the nieces more. They stopped by yesterday morning (waking me up) and watched Monsters, Inc. with me. They also chased Maya around. She's still not fully recovered.

I'm looking forward to the 4th of July holiday. The nieces won't be around, but Steve and I will be hanging out. That's always a good thing. :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

All is fair in love

I haven't written about Steve and me for a while. I have an update on the situation.
We saw each other last weekend and spoke sporadically throughout the week. I think we now understand each other better.
I love him and miss him. He is my everything. My lobster. My other half. But I understand what he needs now. And I will support him and give him the time that he needs because I know that in the end we will be stronger. I'm going to have a little faith.
I went to a memorial for my cousin's grandmother today. I thought of my own grandmothers a lot today. The takeaway message from today was that you should never miss an opportunity to tell the people in your life what they mean to you. It made me miss him immensely and I sent him a text to let him know I was thinking about him. His response was almost instant. And it made me very happy.
Sorry for being cryptic and sappy but it's almost 3 am, I'm feeling all kinds of stuff, and I wanted to tell you all that I'm ok. And that we are ok, and on the path to being awesome. <3

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Begging for universal healthcare

Hey everyone. I'm writing to you after three continuous days of agony. I've been mostly in bed since Sunday with massive ouchies of the head. I've tried doubling the dose of Vicodin. Didn't work. Doubling dose of Percoset. Didn't work. Sleeping pills kind of work, except for last night when I was up until 4 am contemplating lobotomies.

I used to be (mostly) in control of my headaches. I would get a really bad one maybe once a month. But the really awful ones that take me completely out of commission for days on end were rare. Now I'm getting them almost daily. The reason? I can't afford the daily medication that I used to take to control it. Why? Because I am unemployed and have no insurance, so a monthly supply of it is over $300, which I don't have, since I'm unemployed. Can you see a pattern yet?

Being without a job sucks, but doubly so if you have a "condition." I looked into getting health insurance as an individual, but the cost was insane for a single person with low income. And because I am a single woman with no kids and am not pregnant, I do not qualify for programs like NJ Family Care or Medicaid. So now I cannot go to my neurologist because I cannot afford it. I get freaked out, thinking that there is something seriously wrong, but I have no way to find out because I CAN'T AFFORD IT. I am 3 years overdue for an MRI to see if there have been any changes to my brain, but there is no way I can get one done now.

There were a couple of nights when the pain was unbearable, and under different circumstances, I would have gone to the ER. But I can't go because that would be one more bill. So I sucked it up and prayed for the pain to end.

There are other medications I take that I can afford because they are included on Target's and Walgreen's prescription plan, which cost around $4 for a month's supply. But these medications are pain killers, which are addictive, have really uncool side effects, and mostly don't work for me. The one I need to actually stop these headaches isn't covered.

I wrote about my interview last week. I didn't mention that after I got home, I was in agony for about a day and a half after. This all SUCKS. My life has to stop because of my uncontrollable brain.

Sorry for today's rant, but I'm frustrated and still in pain, three days later. It's an awful place to be in, terrified of getting sick. And I know I'm not alone in this.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Wardrobe issues

Sorry for my absence, loyal readers. I had another life killer headache. Three days of misery! Fun times.

During my absence, I went into Manhattan for a job interview. Here's what happened.

I prepared all weekend. I laid out my outfit, bought new shoes, packed and repacked my purse, and gathered together my writing samples and resume. I was ready.
Day of the interview, I got dressed, then realized that my shoes were ridiculously uncomfortable, so I tossed them in a bag and put on flats. I wore my ModCloth River Boat Tour dress, with a shrug over it, and my patent leather Blowfish flats.

Then I drove to my parent's house in Elizabeth. My dad offered to drop me off at the train so I parked at their house to save on parking. My dad was adorable. He kept asking me if I was prepared and was I nervous. I was. And I said so. :)

So I'm on the train. And my mind starts working overtime. I get all panicky. "Is my dress appropriate?" "I think it's too short." "It's too wintery." "I look ridiculous." "I can't believe I wore this." "They won't hire me! I have no fashion sense!!!" and so on and so on. By the time I get off in Penn Station, I have convinced myself that I look horrible and need to change.

The sales girls helped me choose.
They were awesome.
So what do I do? I run into H&M. And while in H&M I remember that nothing in H&M fits me right, so I leave and go to Old Navy. I grab a skirt and shirt, pay, and change in the dressing room. I am now wearing this:

I had luckily brought the tote for my shoes, so I stuffed the ModCloth dress in there. I'm aware that I have issues.

So I take the subway to SoHo and arrive about 15 minutes early. I hang out in front of the building for about 5 minutes because I don't want to be too early, then go in. I change my shoes in the elevator.

I have my interview, and I think it went well. I really really hope it went well. It's definitely a position I can see myself doing well in.

I change my shoes again in the elevator.

And then I met up with my cousin and we got Americanized Dosa for lunch.

After Americanized Dosa, we go to UniQlo. I have beef with UniQlo. My cousin goes in and is looking for jeans. He is super hipster skinny, so we go to the women's department. He finds skinny lady jeans and purchases. While he is in the dressing room, I look around. Now, I know that I'm not a skinny girl. The skirt I got at Old Navy was a size large. I'm ok with my curves. I've come to terms with the fact that I will never look right in certain outfits. Some things just aren't meant to be worn by a person shaped like me. That said, I was looking around UniQlo and couldn't find anything over a size medium. There was maybe two size larges in the whole store. And these weren't normal size larges. I think their size large could possibly fit my 7 year old niece. Maybe. And only because she's really skinny. The shelves were packed with extra smalls. Seriously. I saw a girl working there who wasn't a toothpick, and wondered if she was ever able to take advantage of her employee discount. It didn't look like it.

So I left UniQlo feeling a bit down that all my clothes come from Old Navy and Target. But that's ok. The Target dress I'm wearing today cost less than a T-shirt at UniQlo. Win!

I got back to Penn Station and went back to Elizabeth. And was picked up by a very confused father. "Weren't you wearing black when I dropped you off?" "Long story, dad."

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Summer reading list

I've been rereading books that I already own and love. It started when I reread the entire Harry Potter series in anticipation of the last movie. (Except book 6. I can't find book 6. If I lent it to any of you, please give it back. It's driving me crazy.) I also watched all of the movies again because I'm a geek that way and I have the time.

After I finished the HP series, I began reading all of Neil Gaiman's books again. He's my favorite author, and the 10th anniversary edition of American Gods (my favorite book) is coming out on June 21. I finished Anansi Boys and Neverwhere, and started Good Omens last night.

Other books on my to be reread list:
Smoke and Mirrors
Fragile Things
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
A Suitable Boy
World War Z
Sacred Games
Fight Club
and whatever else I dig up in the boxes that currently house my book collection.

Anyone have book suggestions?

Monday, June 13, 2011

All about eyes

Hi friends! Today I want to talk about eye makeup. I have bought, tried, and discarded TONS of mascaras and eyeliners. Here are my favorites.

I currently have three go-to mascaras. One for everyday use, one for special occasions, and one just because I love it.

My everyday mascara is Maybelline Full 'N Soft. I've used this since high school and it's never failed me. I don't like my lashes to be hard and spider leg-like, and this lives up to its name, giving me lots of volume while leaving my lashes soft.

My special occasion mascara is Maybelline Falsies Volum'Express Mascara. It gives me major length and thickness, but I only use it when I really need to add drama because it tends to flake off. It lasts FOREVER, so make sure you remove it thoroughly before going to bed or you will get serious raccoon eyes. It also lasted through tears at a friend's wedding. Bonus points!

My splurge mascara is Urban Decay Big Fatty. It works just like the Full 'N Soft, but it goes on much faster and smoother because of its huge brush. I've tried it in a few colors, but the basic black is the best.

I've searched and searched for eyeliner that won't smudge under my eyes. After years of testing, I've found a few that work for me.

My current eyeliner is Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On eye pencil in black. Application is smooth and it lasts all day. I use this on my upper lash line.

For drama, I use Smashbox Jet Set Eyeliner. This eyeliner comes in a pot and is applied with a brush. (I use the MAC ultra thin angled eyeliner brush.) I like how versatile this eyeliner is. It goes on much easier than liquid liners, but you can get the same effect. I used to use MAC Fluidline Eye Liner Gel and loved it, but I like the feel of the Smashbox better. I've also tried the Maybelline Eye Studio Gel eyeliner, which is half the price of the Smashbox eyeliner and comes with its own brush, but it doesn't go on as smooth.

For my lower water line, I use Hashmi Kajal, which I don't recommend for everyone. This is the eyeliner that I don't leave the house without. I usually buy it through eBay or Amazon, since I can't find it in Edison. It's a bit tricky to apply, but it puts color on both the upper and lower inner eyelid once you get the hang of it. It is smudgy, and gives you the smokey eye look with very little effort. I was going to make a how-to video for this, but there isn't enough light in my house. Sorry.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Adventures in dating presents: Angry Guy

I had promised to tell my tales of dating gone wrong. I guess it's time.

My first tale deals with a gentleman we'll call "Angry Guy." Angry Guy messaged me on the dating site. After a bit of back and forth, he asked me if I wanted to get something to eat after work. He hadn't raised any red flags, so I agreed and we met up in Princeton at Triumph Brewery.

Dinner was fine. Conversation was good. I was charming. He was funny. It was all good. After the check was paid (by him), he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. Still, no red flags had been raised, so I said "sure!"

We walked across Nassau Street to the benches set out in front of Princeton University's library and sat. Again, conversation flowed easily. But then a lady in an SUV attempted to park in a street spot in front of us. She was having some difficulty, as the spot was pretty small. And the entire mood changed.

Angry Guy began berating her for being a "stupid chick driver, this is why I hate everyone who drives SUVs, people need to learn how to drive," and on and on. The language was a bit more colorful. I paraphrased.

Not knowing how to respond to this, I sort of laughed, hoping he was joking. He wasn't. After the SUV gave up, he began yelling (YELLING) at some college kids riding their bikes on the sidewalk in front of us. Apparently they were "smelly hippies" who should "learn how to share the sidewalk with other humans" They weren't really bothering us. And we were sitting pretty far from where they were riding. And also, he was directly yelling at these kids, who pedaled off, horrified.

And me? Suddenly I needed to get home, cause there was an emergency. ("Hi Charlotte it's Carrie, something bad happened." "SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED!?!?!?" One of my favorite episodes EVER.)

I got a message from him the next day. He asked how I was doing, and would I like to go out another time? I said no, thank you. He replied with a tirade on how this is the reason I'm still single! That girls shouldn't go out with a guy just once and then be a b*tch and never call again and he didn't want to go out with me again cause I wasn't good enough for him anyway! !!!

So yeah. Dating was fun only for my work bffs, Anne and Cecilia, who would hear my stories the next day and laugh merrily because they were happily married/engaged. (Love you girls. :) )

They were also integral to my screening process. If I was unsure about a guy, I would forward the profile and pics to them for approval/denial.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Knowledge Junkie

Hey everyone! Sorry I missed a few days. Two things caused the delay in posts:

  1. I had one of my life killer headaches. (It's still not completely gone.)
  2. The new issue of Mental Floss was delivered.
When the new Mental Floss arrives, all other activities must halt until I've read it from cover to cover, at least twice. It's random knowledge at its finest. I feel as though my internal random information generator has been restocked.

I started reading Mental Floss when I worked at Barnes & Noble. I was a music seller (aka music snob), and could name a song from a customer's bad singing in just seconds. Looking back, that was the best job I've had so far. It's where I was happiest. My coworkers were smart and quirky. I still talk to many of them, and it's been almost 10 years since I worked there. Maybe it's the headache talking, but I miss that place.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Web site addiction

I realize that my last few posts have been super girly, and to my male readers: I apologize. I'll make it up to you.

I spent most of my day today reading articles on the web site Cracked. I am fully and completely addicted to this site. I end up clicking every article in every article, ending up with insane amounts of open tabs. As I write this, I have 17 tabs open of just Cracked articles. I actually avoid going on the site because I know if I do, I'll end up wasting my entire day on it. It's a serious problem.

I have the same problem with The Hairpin. But not as severe. With The Hairpin, I subscribed through Google Reader and am able to weed out the articles I want to read. I had to stop myself from adding Cracked to my Reader or I would never stop reading.

Product review: OPI Black Shatter

I went to the mall today to spend my $20 Old Navy Groupon. I failed. There was nothing there I wanted. As consolation, I wandered over to Trade Secret, hoping to see if the rest of the Pirates of the Caribbean Collection from OPI was in. I have Planks A Lot on my nails right now. I wanted Mermaid's Tears. They were sold out. :(

They did, however, have Black Shatter, which I have been wanting to try but has been sold out EVERYWHERE. So I got it.

These are my most recent colors:
From left to right: Black Shatter, Y'All Come Back, Hear?,
Do You Think I'm Tex-y?, and Planks A Lot
I am currently wearing Planks A Lot on my hands. It's a soft, fresh color for spring. I don't love it. (But my 3 year old niece complimented me on it. And she always has her nails done. That isn't sarcasm.)
It's a bit too pastel for my tastes. I usually go for bright, bold colors, but wanted to try something different. I added the Black Shatter.
Much better. The Shatter was easy to apply, goof proof, and dried quickly. I like how it quickly and easily transformed a color I didn't love to something bold and unexpected. As you can tell from the photo, I'm not the neatest when I do my nails, but the edges cleaned up easily after it was dry. I LOVE the effect. It definitely needs a top coat to seal the effect in and add shine. The Shatter also served a dual purpose in refreshing my week old (and starting to chip) manicure. I didn't have to start over from scratch! I'm definitely going to experiment more with this.

Since pushing the publish button, I have changed both the color on both my toes and my fingers. I was itching to try the Texas colors.

The orange Y'All Come Back, Hear? is now on my toes. It took 4 coats for it to really show up. I suspect if I had lighter skin, it wouldn't have taken as many. It's a pretty color, but not very well suited for my skin tone. I may like it better in the daylight. I left it on. It may grow on me. If I add the Black Shatter, it will be perfect for Halloween.
Please disregard the messy-ness. Also, my camera was acting up
so these aren't very clear. You get the idea, though.
I put the very pink Do You Think I'm Tex-y? on my fingers. I love this color. It's bright, happy, and bold. Exactly what I wanted for a summer color. Like Y'All Come Back, it needed additional coats to really stand out. This may be my go-to for the summer. It will also work really well with the Black Shatter.
Again. Messy. It will be fine after I shower. That's how I roll.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Lemon Cilantro Chicken Soup

I decided to cook today. The recipe is one of my own: lemon cilantro chicken soup. I've made it before and each time it's a little bit different. I used the bare minimum of dishes (I hate doing dishes). It's SO easy. It's also celery-free, since celery is of the devil.

  • 1 whole rotisserie chicken (usually sold hot at most supermarkets. I got mine at A&P for $6)
  • 1 small turnip
  • 1 carrot
  • 5 red potatoes
  • 1 package button mushrooms
  • 3 32 ounce boxes of low sodium chicken broth
  • 1 bunch fresh cilantro
  • 1 whole lemon
  • 1/2 cup dry barley
  • 2 cups uncooked pasta (I used egg noodles, but any pasta works)
Pour 2 boxes of the chicken broth and the barley into a large pot and set it on the stove on medium heat. While the broth is heating up, cut up the turnip, carrot, potatoes, and mushrooms, adding each to the broth as you cut them up. Cut the carrot and turnip small, and cut the potatoes into quarters. Slice the mushrooms  thick.

At this point, the broth should be boiling.

I purchased the chicken the night before so it would be cold when I needed it, otherwise it would be too hot to rip apart. Tear it into small pieces with your hands (the most fun part) and toss it in the pot. (Maya sat patiently at my feet, hoping something would fall.) Take about half of the bunch of cilantro, chop fine, and toss in. Squeeze the juice of the lemon into the pot, making sure not to include the seeds.

If you notice that the soup is getting a bit thick, you can add more broth or water.

Add the 2 cups of pasta, cover the pot, and leave it to simmer for 15-20 minutes, or until the pasta is cooked.

And that's it! Cleanup is super easy; I only had the knife and cutting board to wash.

It's so fresh and summery with the lemon and cilantro. After refrigeration, the broth will get absorbed by the pasta, so I keep a box of chicken broth to add before reheating.

Adventures with Lush Caca Noir

I had a Twitter request to post the details from when I dyed my hair with Lush's Caca Noir Mama natural henna hair color. Since I'm thinking about repeating the process, I thought this would be a good time to put it up. Apologies to those who already saw this on my Facebook page. I'll have something new for you very soon. :)

This is my hair pre-henna, freshly washed with no product in it.

The henna comes in blocks of 6. I used half of the total. To use it, I broke off the portion I needed and grated it into a powder using a box grater. Another option would have been to use a food processor to grind it up, but mine isn't big enough. (Nail polish: OPI Plugged in Plum :) )
After it was all grated, I added hot water to the powder until it was the consistency of pudding, then placed the bowl in a small pot of hot water on the stove to keep it hot and pliable while I applied it. I wore gloves and applied it by hand. I did the application in the kitchen next to the stove to keep the henna warm. (Spread newspapers or old wrapping paper on the floor to catch any spills. It can get messy.)

This is me looking ridiculous with plastic wrap on my head. I wrapped it to keep the heat in, which activates the henna. The smell of the henna is very earthy, but not too bad. I had the windows open and it didn't bother me too much.

I kept it on for 6 hours total; 3 hours wrapped, 3 open because the indigo needs air to develop. The henna dried into a SOLID MASS. At this point, the hair clips were totally redundant. I took this picture right before I washed it out.

I washed it out in the shower using a cheap shampoo. I washed it 4 times to make sure it was all out, then conditioned once. This is me right after washing and drying it.

Next morning! It is already darker, and continued to get darker over the next few days. In addition to the henna and indigo, Caca Noir also has cocoa butter, which left my hair super soft and shiny. I also woke up with no tangles, which is rare!
I'm definitely going to repeat the process soon. It took most of a day to do, but it was totally worth it. I'm so glad I found hair color that is natural!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Stupid moves

You guys. I was just a total idiot. And I need to tell you all about it. I just called him. It was awful. I am an idiot and deserve your mocking in the comments.

As you know (if you've been reading this), Steve and I are not currently speaking. His choice. As the caring person that I am, I was concerned after not hearing from him in over a week. So I texted him. No response. So I called him. He answered after the third try. It wasn't pleasant. So to recap: I still don't know what his issues are. He still doesn't want me to know what is bothering him. I am super frustrated. And sad. And drinking some Three Buck Chuck.

I am fully aware that I should not have called. I was silently berating myself the whole time. But that doesn't change the fact that I miss him more than I can bear.

I'm going to go cry over some ice cream now.

Fixing the skin you're in

I am a girl. Sometimes, I am a girly girl. I have an unhealthy addiction to Sephora. Ridiculously expensive mascara? Yes please. OPI nailpolish? Oh goodness yes. I bought three new colors yesterday. (OMG THE PIRATES COLLECTION!!!)

I recently bought some products from Bliss. I purchased the Steep Clean Pore Purifying Mask, and the No "Zit" Sherlock collection. I've been using the No Zit collection daily, and have used the mask twice. I adore them.

The mask is a dual formula (mix in hand) mask that you leave on for 15 minutes. When I washed it off, my skin was super soft. I've used it twice so far (once per week) and have no complaints.

The No Zit Sherlock collection (cleanser, serum, moisturizer) has been working so far. I tend to have mini breakouts every once in a while, but my skin has been clear since I've started using this. (For spot treatments, I've been using Burt's Bees Targeted Spot Treatment. I've had overnight success getting rid of pimples using this. Let's not get into my Burt's Bees addiction.) I expected some dryness since I'm using a whole slew of products, but I'm happy to report that my skin has been fine.

The correcting serum claims to correct dark spots from old pimples. This was a major selling point because I have some discoloration from past breakouts and want them to go away without resorting to chemical peels or anything more drastic. I like being able to go out with minimal makeup on. (Minimal = eyeliner, mascara only. I feel naked without eyeliner.) Having scrutinized my face since buying these, I haven't really seen a change in the discoloration, but it's only been two weeks. I'm keeping the faith on this.

These products are on the expensive side, but Bliss has an excellent reputation for skin care. And I had a gift card.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Muslims and Green Burials

I recently read some articles about green burials. These articles discussed a rising trend in people choosing to be buried in a way that doesn't add inorganic materials (embalming chemicals and metals from clothing and the casket) to the earth. Green burials are meant to return the body to the earth in as natural a state as possible. I know that sounds treehugger-ish and New Agey, but isn't that what is meant to happen when we die? Isn't it "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust," not "Unable to decompose due to chemicals"?

Having been raised Muslim, I have always been a bit horrified with "Western" burial practices. It seems wrong to have complete strangers handling the body of the deceased and to have them pumped full of chemicals and placed in an incredibly expensive box whose sole purpose is to rot in the ground.

I'll provide some perspective. My maternal grandmother passed away a few years ago. She lived with my family, so I spent most of my life with her in the house. I was devastated when she passed. She died early in the morning at home, with my aunt at her bedside. The funeral took place the day that she died, as per her wishes, and only female family members handled her body. No stranger touched her. Her body was handled with love and respect by people who cared for her. Her daughters and several of her granddaughters washed her body, which was always covered with a cloth, and wrapped her in a plain white cotton shroud. She was then placed in a simple pine coffin that had wooden pegs to hold it shut. (In Guyana, they don't use the coffin. The body is placed directly in the ground. I believe we were required to use a coffin here.) There were no chemicals involved. We used only water and camphor to bathe her.

I was surprised to find that doing this wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. There were no tears while we prepared her. We spoke to her and let her know we loved her and were abiding by her final requests by laying her to rest as her religion dictated. It was like saying a final goodbye. After a short religious ceremony, she was buried in a Muslim burial ground before the sun set.

As I understand it, "Western" burials involve embalmers, funeral homes, and expensive coffins. I couldn't fathom having my loved ones handled by complete strangers in death. I wouldn't want that for me. When my paternal grandmother passed away in January, I had to explain to the nurse (who was removing the covers from my grandmother) that we do not expose the deceased's body out of respect. She was very accommodating, but I was surprised that this wasn't the norm.

Even if my family wasn't Muslim, I would still want to have a green burial. Am I alone in this? Has my upbringing caused me to think like this? I'm curious.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I thought I loved Jon Stewart before...

Watch Jon ream out Donald Trump. (Apologies to faithful watchers of the Daily Show. This is an older clip. I watch the Daily Show online. Still no TV in the Haydia household.)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Adventures in Dating

I hadn't had much experience dating before 2009. I had boyfriends, but never really went on "dates." But then I had my "big break up" and decided to just go for it. And I jumped in head first.

I joined a dating site. I was a member for about a year and went on tons of dates. There were occasional follow-up dates, but for the most part, no one stuck. But I got a lot of great stories out of it. Back when I was dating, I considered starting a blog just to talk about the absurd situations I ended up in, and to talk about all of the odd boys I dated. There was Angry Guy, Smelly Guy, Jaws, Young Guy, the Lawyer, Father-of-twins, Pedo-biker, the Republican, Stalker Guy, Wrestler Guy, Pirate Guy, African Guy, Marriage Guy, Soccer Guy... You get the idea.

My point in writing this is that when Steve and I had our troubles, the first thought I had after he hung up was "omg I DO NOT think I handle dating again!" It was that bad.

Boy troubles

I just watched The Dilemma and it hit a little too close to home. The same problems that Steve and I have were displayed. I think the Jennifer Connelly character, Beth, actually said some things that I've said.
Our big problem has been communication. I've been feeling in the dark about a lot of things, and he doesn't think it's necessary to bring me into it, as his problems are just that. His.
In the movie, Vince Vaughn's character, Ronny, has been keeping a secret about his best friend to himself, not talking to his girlfriend Beth about it. His explanation is that it's his problem, and he has to fix it. Beth says to Ronny that he isn't "fixing anything, just breaking more things... If you don't let me in, how do I know how to fix it?" I teared up at that line. It's exactly where I am today. Frustrated that I don't know how to help him. Sad that he doesn't want my help. Furious because he left me alone. Confused because I have no idea what is going on. Terrified of losing him.
Yes I know that I'm reading a lot into a Vince Vaughn comedy, but I'm not in a happy place today. It's been a week since I've seen him.

Kitty come home!

I saw on Facebook that someone I know has lost their cats. This got me thinking about Wesley, who passed away in 2004. He was an outdoor cat and would be gone most of the day. I always wondered what he did when he roamed. It seems some researchers in Illinois wondered the same thing. They fitted 42 cats with radio tracking collars and tracked their movements for two years.

Apparently, cats who have owners wander around a much smaller area than feral cats. I would have loved if they fitted the cats with teeny cameras, so we could see what they were doing. I'm guessing napping. In sunbeams.
As I type this, Maya has come over and lain across my left arm between me and the laptop. I'm guessing someone wants attention.

Friday, June 3, 2011


I've been unable to sleep unaided for a while. It's pretty annoying. I've forgotten how to fall asleep. I lay there and my mind just keeps going. And now my usual sleep aids are failing me. I was awake until after 4am last night. The massive headache that developed around 11pm last night may have exacerbated the situation. As I currently am on some serious pain killers for my headaches, I didn't want to take anything more than I already took. It's not cool when Vicodin no longer has any effect.

I am about to attempt sleeping now. I'm trying to clear my mind, but the events of this past week just keep playing in my head. As noted in my first post, I am not currently speaking to the man I love. This is not my choice. I am frustrated and sad.

Going to brush my teeth now. Wish me luck.

Adventures in the kitchen

I have decided to cook. I am in need of comfort food. This is different from most days in that I tend to eat out, or have something prepared. I am making an effort to cook more.

Today's recipe: Hamburger helper from scratch. It will be good, believe me.

The recipe:

  • 1 large onion, chopped

  • 2 garlic cloves, minced

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil

  • 1 lb ground beef (or turkey) 

  • 1 (26 ounce) can stewed or diced tomatoes (I used the one with basil added)

  • 2 cups water

  • 8 ounces pasta, uncooked (I used elbow today. I prefer rotini)

  • Adobo (or your choice of season salt) to taste

  • 1 cup mozzarella cheese

  • I sauteed the onion and garlic in olive oil until translucent, then added the ground beef, cooking until browned. After draining the beef, I added the tomatoes, water, and pasta and cooked it on medium heat until the pasta was tender (about 20 mins). I added the mozzarella cheese to my portion before eating.
    I got the original recipe off of, and modified it to be yummier. I think I'll add mushrooms next time. Or zucchini. Or both.

    Life in flux

    Hi. I'm Haydia. I currently am unemployed, bored, and poor. Not exactly where I thought I would be at 31. Needing an outlet for my poor brain, I decided to start a blog. Well, Anne decided that I should start a blog. I believe she is my only reader. (Hi Anne)
    Some things about me:
    • I am a college graduate
    • I used to be a writer/editor
    • I used to be a nanny
    • I used to be a bookseller 
    • I have a cat named Maya and am a part-time CCL (crazy cat lady)
    • Up until yesterday, I was in a happy, loving relationship
    • I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
    That's it for now. Expect great things to come...