Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Movie magic

My cousin called today and we made plans to go see the midnight showing of the final Harry Potter movie (IN 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!). That got me thinking about my greatest movie experiences.

I love movies. I have Netflix and watch at least 4-5 movies a week, whether it's new or one from my DVD collection. I recently rewatched the LOTR movies (the extended versions, of course). And here is where I expose my geeky-ness. I have the movies in 3 separate formats. Original, extended, and special edition extended. Just wait until I upgrade to Blu-ray. Oh yeah.

I used to go to lots of midnight premiers. I stopped when my body couldn't manage to go to work on Friday after getting home from the movies the night before at 3 am. I guess I can't hang like I used to.

The best movie experience I've ever had was the midnight showing of the last LOTR film. I saw it at the new (at the time) theater at Jersey Gardens. This was the first and last time I ever went there. I was with my friend Larry and some of his friends. We got in line around 10pm and were no where near the front. It was madness. People were dressed up in costumes, yelling to their friends. It was like a big party. I've never felt such excitement.

When the film began, there was silence from the audience. We were all excited. We were unified in our geekdom and adoration of these films. And we were going to enjoy the crap out of every second of this final film in the trilogy.

The theater itself was awesome. The sound in there was amazing. When the Nazgul-birds screamed, it actually hurt. (I would like to point out here my insane need for accuracy. I actually looked up the proper name of the screaming bat-dragon creatures that the Nazgul flew. I am a nerrrrrrd.) The audience cheered, gasped, laughed, cried. It was a beautiful thing. Now all I have are these DVDs. Sigh.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Boredom breeds creation

Being home all the time is really boring. The novelty of not having to be anywhere has worn off and I really don't have much going on. Cabin fever has set in.

But I have been trying to keep myself busy. I read lots now (ouchies permitting) and have sewing more. I made a stuffed robot for the cutest baby boy I know, and Maya purses for the nieces. I also have a few ideas for stuff I want to make. I'm considering opening an etsy store, but I need to get a working sewing machine first. My crappy one broke making the robot. It died trying to sew felt. How sad is that?

I'm planning a massive redo of my apartment. I bought a bookcase from Target last week (which lived in my trunk until this morning when Steve was awesome enough to stop by before work to carry it in for me) and will FINALLY get my library under control.

I've also been hanging out with the nieces more. They stopped by yesterday morning (waking me up) and watched Monsters, Inc. with me. They also chased Maya around. She's still not fully recovered.

I'm looking forward to the 4th of July holiday. The nieces won't be around, but Steve and I will be hanging out. That's always a good thing. :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

All is fair in love

I haven't written about Steve and me for a while. I have an update on the situation.
We saw each other last weekend and spoke sporadically throughout the week. I think we now understand each other better.
I love him and miss him. He is my everything. My lobster. My other half. But I understand what he needs now. And I will support him and give him the time that he needs because I know that in the end we will be stronger. I'm going to have a little faith.
I went to a memorial for my cousin's grandmother today. I thought of my own grandmothers a lot today. The takeaway message from today was that you should never miss an opportunity to tell the people in your life what they mean to you. It made me miss him immensely and I sent him a text to let him know I was thinking about him. His response was almost instant. And it made me very happy.
Sorry for being cryptic and sappy but it's almost 3 am, I'm feeling all kinds of stuff, and I wanted to tell you all that I'm ok. And that we are ok, and on the path to being awesome. <3

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Begging for universal healthcare

Hey everyone. I'm writing to you after three continuous days of agony. I've been mostly in bed since Sunday with massive ouchies of the head. I've tried doubling the dose of Vicodin. Didn't work. Doubling dose of Percoset. Didn't work. Sleeping pills kind of work, except for last night when I was up until 4 am contemplating lobotomies.

I used to be (mostly) in control of my headaches. I would get a really bad one maybe once a month. But the really awful ones that take me completely out of commission for days on end were rare. Now I'm getting them almost daily. The reason? I can't afford the daily medication that I used to take to control it. Why? Because I am unemployed and have no insurance, so a monthly supply of it is over $300, which I don't have, since I'm unemployed. Can you see a pattern yet?

Being without a job sucks, but doubly so if you have a "condition." I looked into getting health insurance as an individual, but the cost was insane for a single person with low income. And because I am a single woman with no kids and am not pregnant, I do not qualify for programs like NJ Family Care or Medicaid. So now I cannot go to my neurologist because I cannot afford it. I get freaked out, thinking that there is something seriously wrong, but I have no way to find out because I CAN'T AFFORD IT. I am 3 years overdue for an MRI to see if there have been any changes to my brain, but there is no way I can get one done now.

There were a couple of nights when the pain was unbearable, and under different circumstances, I would have gone to the ER. But I can't go because that would be one more bill. So I sucked it up and prayed for the pain to end.

There are other medications I take that I can afford because they are included on Target's and Walgreen's prescription plan, which cost around $4 for a month's supply. But these medications are pain killers, which are addictive, have really uncool side effects, and mostly don't work for me. The one I need to actually stop these headaches isn't covered.

I wrote about my interview last week. I didn't mention that after I got home, I was in agony for about a day and a half after. This all SUCKS. My life has to stop because of my uncontrollable brain.

Sorry for today's rant, but I'm frustrated and still in pain, three days later. It's an awful place to be in, terrified of getting sick. And I know I'm not alone in this.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Wardrobe issues

Sorry for my absence, loyal readers. I had another life killer headache. Three days of misery! Fun times.

During my absence, I went into Manhattan for a job interview. Here's what happened.

I prepared all weekend. I laid out my outfit, bought new shoes, packed and repacked my purse, and gathered together my writing samples and resume. I was ready.
Day of the interview, I got dressed, then realized that my shoes were ridiculously uncomfortable, so I tossed them in a bag and put on flats. I wore my ModCloth River Boat Tour dress, with a shrug over it, and my patent leather Blowfish flats.

Then I drove to my parent's house in Elizabeth. My dad offered to drop me off at the train so I parked at their house to save on parking. My dad was adorable. He kept asking me if I was prepared and was I nervous. I was. And I said so. :)

So I'm on the train. And my mind starts working overtime. I get all panicky. "Is my dress appropriate?" "I think it's too short." "It's too wintery." "I look ridiculous." "I can't believe I wore this." "They won't hire me! I have no fashion sense!!!" and so on and so on. By the time I get off in Penn Station, I have convinced myself that I look horrible and need to change.

The sales girls helped me choose.
They were awesome.
So what do I do? I run into H&M. And while in H&M I remember that nothing in H&M fits me right, so I leave and go to Old Navy. I grab a skirt and shirt, pay, and change in the dressing room. I am now wearing this:

I had luckily brought the tote for my shoes, so I stuffed the ModCloth dress in there. I'm aware that I have issues.

So I take the subway to SoHo and arrive about 15 minutes early. I hang out in front of the building for about 5 minutes because I don't want to be too early, then go in. I change my shoes in the elevator.

I have my interview, and I think it went well. I really really hope it went well. It's definitely a position I can see myself doing well in.

I change my shoes again in the elevator.

And then I met up with my cousin and we got Americanized Dosa for lunch.

After Americanized Dosa, we go to UniQlo. I have beef with UniQlo. My cousin goes in and is looking for jeans. He is super hipster skinny, so we go to the women's department. He finds skinny lady jeans and purchases. While he is in the dressing room, I look around. Now, I know that I'm not a skinny girl. The skirt I got at Old Navy was a size large. I'm ok with my curves. I've come to terms with the fact that I will never look right in certain outfits. Some things just aren't meant to be worn by a person shaped like me. That said, I was looking around UniQlo and couldn't find anything over a size medium. There was maybe two size larges in the whole store. And these weren't normal size larges. I think their size large could possibly fit my 7 year old niece. Maybe. And only because she's really skinny. The shelves were packed with extra smalls. Seriously. I saw a girl working there who wasn't a toothpick, and wondered if she was ever able to take advantage of her employee discount. It didn't look like it.

So I left UniQlo feeling a bit down that all my clothes come from Old Navy and Target. But that's ok. The Target dress I'm wearing today cost less than a T-shirt at UniQlo. Win!

I got back to Penn Station and went back to Elizabeth. And was picked up by a very confused father. "Weren't you wearing black when I dropped you off?" "Long story, dad."