Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Loving yourself as is

I recently read an article on Huffington Post about body image and its effect on your love life. It's no secret that I have self esteem and body image issues. I don't find myself attractive. I've never been thin, and having been off certain medications and being mostly sedentary since I've been out of work, I've gained weight. This is one of the reasons I've been avoiding social situations recently. (To anyone who's invitation I've declined lately, my apologies. I'll see you in the winter under a layer of sweaters.)

I know I'm not ugly. I'm just not comfortable with my appearance. I've never been. But I am with someone who thinks I'm beautiful. And that helps. In his eyes, I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. And hearing it from him almost makes me believe it.

So back to that article. It talks about self confidence and how it affects people's perception of you. Now, I have self confidence, just not in my physical appearance. Does that make sense? I have conviction in my thoughts and opinions, but not in how I look in dresses and skinny jeans. Does one enhance the other? Does confidence have to be tied to physical appearance? I do love myself as is, but there is an asterisk next to that. I love my mind. My body, not so much.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Going strong after a whole year

Yesterday was Steve and my first anniversary. We celebrated by him taking a half day off of work and going bowling with me. It was fun! I had a Groupon for 2 hours unlimited bowling (including shoe rental!), but we barely lasted an hour. He kicked my butt. I apparently suck at bowling, but got points for style. (I would only get a strike if I didn't look to see what I hit. Try it! It works!) After bowling, we went to the mall and then Target to kill time before dinner.

We went to one of our favorite restaurants, Go Sushi, for dinner. He had vegetable gyoza and beef negimaki, and I had the sushi special (tuna avocado, shrimp avocado, and to mix things up, the Alaska roll.) I believe I went wrong with the Alaska roll. I totally got food poisoning. I'm currently on my couch in the fetal position. I didn't sleep at all last night and all I've had to eat today is ginger ale and Pepto.

So our anniversary was slightly less than romantic. Thankfully, Steve is the best boyfriend ever and did not complain even though I kept him up all night and he had to be up at 6 am for work while I get to lounge around the house all day. I love that man. Happy Anniversary, Babe!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Boys, look away. This one's for the ladies.

I've decided to come clean with all of you. I don't use tampons or pads. THERE! I said it. (I feel so much better now.)

For about 7 years, I've used a menstrual cup to deal with my period (the Diva Cup, specifically.) I've always felt that there is a stigma around girly products and periods in general, and no one talks about it. But this cup is too good to keep to myself, so I'm sharing.

A menstrual cup is made of silicone and you insert it. The difference between the Diva Cup and tampons? You only have to empty the cup once every 12 hours or so, and it's reusable. I haven't bought tampons or pads in 7 years. SEVEN YEARS!!! It sits low in the vagina and forms a seal to capture any fluids. And because it's made of silicone, it warms to your body and you can't feel it. I've had only 2 accidents since I've been using the Diva Cup.

Some cons:
  • You have to be comfortable with your body. Insertion is INSERTION. You have to be all up in your junk. But it gets easy after a few tries. And shouldn't we all be comfortable with our bodies? (That's total bs, btw. It took me LOTS of tries to be totally comfortable with it. But it's SO worth it!)
  • It takes practice. I got the hang of it after 2 cycles. But after that, I didn't need backup pads.
The pros!
  • You can wear it anywhere: swimming, running (like I run. HA!), and overnight, without worrying about leakage. Once it's been inserted properly, it won't leak unless it's full. (The cup holds about 1 ounce of fluid, and the average period is 3-4 ounces over the entire cycle. The cup is usually less than half full in 12 hours.)  
  • It's the Ron Popeil Rotisserie Oven of period gear. Set It, and Forget It! I've actually forgotten I've had it in before. 
  • You NEVER HAVE TO BUY PADS OR TAMPONS AGAIN!!! I can't stress this point enough. It's environmentally friendly!
  • It's also very cost efficient. It costs about $25-30 up front, but you save so much more than that in the long run. The website says to change it yearly, but I've read testimonials that say they've used it safely for 10 years or more. I'm on my 7th year with the same one. I boil it between cycles and I've never had a problem with it.
  • You can wear it longer than tampons. I empty it once a day. THAT'S IT. I don't have to remember to bring tampons with me, or change it during the day. I clean it out in the morning, and again at night before bed.
So that's my take on the Diva Cup. They have a long FAQ on their web site if you want more information, and it is available for purchase online or at Whole Foods.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Exhaustion leads to creativity?

I had the weirdest dream today. I was extremely tired and slightly headachy, so I took a nap this afternoon. When I woke up, my head was filled with the strangest narrative. I tried to write it down, but could only remember fleeting details.

I need to sleep with a tape recorder next to my bed so I can get the details down as soon as I wake up. This is killing me. I've started writing it up. In my head it was a solid story, but now it's filled with holes. I'm pretty sure my brain just wrote my next short story without letting the rest of me know. I've spent the rest of today playing catch up with the story that has already been completed but hasn't found a way to escape my mind onto paper. It's frustrating.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A day in the life

As I've mentioned before, I'm currently unemployed. This means that I'm super bored most of the time. I would like to walk you through a typical day in the life of an unemployed person:

7:00 am: Maya wakes me up.
7:01 am: Realize that I have nothing to do. Go back to sleep.
10:30 am: Wake up for reals this time.
11:00 am: Breakfast (brunch?). Go online. Chat with Anne (for the rest of the day).
Noon: Check various job sites. Apply to everything. 
1:30 pm: To shower or not to shower? That is the question. (The answer is usually not to shower.)
2:00 pm: Read. Or watch a movie. Or clean something.
3:00 pm: Snack time!
4:00 pm: Craft time! Or more reading time. Or more movie time.
7:00 pm: Steve is home. Talk to him on the phone for a while.
7:30 pm: Dinner!
8:00 pm: Online some more.
9:30 pm: Steve calls for our nightly good night chat.
10:30 pm: Steve goes to bed. I try to sleep but cannot. More reading or online time.
1:00 am: Finally go to bed.

And repeat!

Some days I mix it up and meet Anne for lunch. Or go grocery shopping. But this is about it. I'm super bored.